LOVE

I love to be in the presence of LOVE. You know, the kind of LOVE that brings a smile to your face and a flutter to your tummy, knowing that you were around to witness it. Now, LOVE to one person can mean something completely different than it does to another, but for me I have 3 different kinds of LOVE that always make me stop and savor the moment.

An old LOVE – the kind of love that warms you because it is so strong that the feeling of it completely envelops you. A new LOVE – where you can see that for every moment and every discovery they make together, their love grows deeper and stronger. A young LOVE – the kind of love where they don’t even know that they are in love yet, but you can see it in their eyes, their body movements and hear it in their words. These kinds of love make my heart smile. And I thought that when I first started dating Josh that any one of those loves would last, with no effort involved whatsoever. That it would and could just happen all the time. However, as I am figuring out, it is not so much about love lasting so much as it is about love evolving. And the couple that is unable to evolve together is also the couple that is unable to stay together. I think I have a good example. When Josh and I first met, it was in the gym. I was being personally trained by a co-worker of his and he was personally training another gym member on the same days and hours that I was there. He and I had brief conversations as time went on but never really got into a “real” conversation, until one day, I happened to be in the stretch area of the gym, and he had just finished up with his client and was completing some paperwork. I went up to him and openly asked him if he was married as he had a ring on his finger. He explained that he was separated. We got to chatting and I asked him out for a “doggy date”. We met up for our date on July 1^st, 2009, walked the dogs (one of which was Scout, I didn’t have Calla at the time, I was dog-sitting for a friend) for 12 hours! We went for a picnic lunch, ran into some friends and chatted for a bit, and then at the end of the night, we kissed. July 1^st is Canada Day. Would it be cliché to say that “sparks” flew? Pretty much from that day forward we were inseparable. We had our hurdles along the way, don’t get me wrong. Arguments, break-ups, get back togethers..blah, blah, blah. A regular soap opera relationship. But we stuck it out. There was a magnet between the two of us that you just couldn’t keep apart. He moved into my apartment in November 2010 and sure enough by December we were pregnant with our son! It was completely unplanned, but we wouldn’t have had it any other way. He was made from LOVE J

Now, the pregnancy was amazing. It went so smoothly. Josh was super excited to be a Dad, I was ecstatic to be a Mom and the grandparents, well I think they were still in a bit of shock at how quick things had happened. It was after the pregnancy, when Kaynen was actually present and with us, where things really started to change. Our LOVE had changed and at that time, neither of us knew how to evolve to it. We argued A LOT. And I cried. A LOT. Thankfully for Kaynen, even though his parents were a complete disaster, he was, simply put, LOVED. He was loved by two parents who knew how to love him, but had no idea how to get back to loving each-other again. And you know during the course of the first 6 months of Kaynens life, there were many times, where Josh and I wanted to just call it quits. Throw in the towel. Head out the door. But again, the magnet that held us so tightly together in the beginning of our love, was still holding us together during this time in our love, we just didn’t know how to evolve to it.  There are no books on this. You can read ALL the parenting books in the world, but they never once tell you, and I’m paraphrasing of course – “Your relationship will feel like it has been hit by bomb, it will feel like absolute shit on most days, because, frankly, it is in the shits right now, oh, and, sorry, we don’t have an answer for you, but keep reading!”

Post baby time is crazy. And when I have new moms who ask me, how was this or what did you do for that, or is this normal…I say “YES! It is completely normal and it will change and so will you and so will your partner! You just have to want to evolve with your partner by your side!” And more often than not, that’s all it takes, is the simple reassurance that “things are shit right now, but keep your head up and your feet moving, because it will get better!”

As time went on though, and as Kaynen got older, it actually got easier.  Josh took on more responsibility with Kaynen which meant that I was able to get in some much needed “me” time, which also translated into more Josh time, because I was feeling better about not only myself, but OUR RELATIONSHIP. Our relationship had evolved and even though we had no clue on how to actively evolve with it, we actually passively just, did. We had evolved on our own, but together.  And now when I look back, through all the stuff we went through, I can not only see where I went wrong but I have the ability to be acutely aware of what I need to do to keep evolving in my relationship.

LOVE for me now is spending time with Josh, either cuddling on the couch watching a movie while the baby is sound asleep or heading out for a family walk with the dogs. LOVE is hearing the sound of my sons laughter while he gets tickled by the tickle monster, or listening to the rhythm of Josh’s heartbeat as we lie quietly with one another. LOVE is the gentle licks that I will get from Calla or Scout as they lie with me gleefully enjoying that the baby is sleeping. J

My definition of LOVE has evolved from when Josh and I first started dating. It was meant to, it had to. The more I fought it, the harder it was and the longer it took. Our LOVE is simple now, we see each other for who we really are and we try to keep it as un-complicated as possible now. We are allowing ourselves the freedom to evolve into a deeper, more meaningful, long lasting LOVE.

A little LOVE goes a long way I think. Especially in our World today; we are bombarded by negativity and messages of hate. In the spirit of Valentine’s Day…which by the way is quickly approaching, please take a moment to LOVE.  The smallest gesture, sometimes means the World to someone and can change their day or life dramatically. Be the Catalyst to Change. Don’t fear it. Embrace it. LOVE it.

Here’s a video that proves what a little LOVE can do: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr3x_RRJdd4

Happy Valentine’s Day Everyone! I hope you find someone to LOVE J

Katerina

Health and Wellness Blogger

GEM Magazine LI

The Physical and Mental Effects of Sleep Deprivation

What's been keeping you up lately?

As you read this, keep in mind that I am writing this blog at 10:45 pm, which has been the earliest time I have been to bed in months, which is a complete surprise for me since my regular bedtime is 1 am in the morning. Even though I am in bed, warm and cozy and comfy, I am still in fact, awake. I'm still going about my business working and thinking and logging my daily tasks into place to get ready for the next day. It's almost as if my brain is on auto run mode and it doesn't compute that it needs to be in shut down mode now in order for me to get a decent nights sleep. This is not good. Can't be good at all. I have got to start doing some major changes around this whole no sleeping issue.

The reason I decided to tackle the issue of sleep deprivation in my blog today is simply because I am sleep deprived and I suffer through everyday because of it. And I am not the only one out there who is as well. I wanted to spread some light on the effects that sleep deprivation has on our bodies and minds because, guess what, it ain't good.

Physically speaking, you can train like a warrior and eat like a well oiled machine, but if you aren't getting in enough zzz's then this is what is/could happen to you. And please keep in mind, these are the long term consequences of what could occur should a sleep disorder go untreated, whether knowingly or not. Get ready for it, it's daunting:

1. Heart attack

2. High blood pressure

3. Heart failure

4. Stroke

5. Obesity

6. Attention Deficit Disorder

7. Psychiatric problems, depression, mood disorders

8. Mental impairment

9. Fetal and childhood growth retardation

10. Injury from accidents

11. Disruption of bed partner's sleep quality

12. Poor quality of life

Take a breath and just relax a little into your chair so that you can fully absorb this list of the 12 negative long term health effects that a lack of sleep can do to you or to someone you love. Has it hit you yet? That list is the no going back zone. Your body has reached its limit and is flaking out. I'm not writing this list to scare you, well maybe to scare you, but I'm doing this because I care. No more pussy footing around here.

Good news...there is still some room for improvement, and boy oh boy, do I love renovation!

In the short term, after risk assessment, education, and treatment, memory and cognitive deficits improve and the number of injuries decreases, so here comes the short terms health consequences list, which can all be improved on once medical intervention has taken place. Or just a few extra hours of sleep have been acquired.

1. Decreased Performance and Alertness: losing as little as one and a half hours for just one night could result in a reduction of daytime alertness by as much as 32%.

32%!!!! Just from having lost as little as one and a half hours. Must. Sleep. More.

2. Memory and Cognitive Impairment: Decreased alertness and excessive daytime sleepiness impair your memory and your cognitive ability -- your ability to think and process information. It's no wonder that I am able to watch Teletoons with my son for as long as I can, my cognitive level has been reduced to a 17 month olds!!  Geez

3. Stress Relationships: If your partner sleeps bad; you sleep bad, which in turn may cause significant problems for the relationship (for example, separate bedrooms, conflicts, moodiness, etc.).

4. Poor Quality of Life: You might, for example, be unable to participate in certain activities that require sustained attention, like going to the movies, seeing your child in a school play, or watching a favorite TV show. You mean to tell me that the burning sensation in my eyes is not from the suns rays????.

5. Occupational Injury: Excessive sleepiness increases your chances of sustaining an occupational injury by twofold. Weel, isn't it a good thing that I work from home. Although, I do feel for the dogs now, look out!

6. Automobile Injury: The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) estimates that each year drowsy driving is responsible for at least 100,000 automobile crashes, 71,000 injuries, and 1,550 fatalities.

Get this, studies are now showing that there is an increased risk of death for those individuals who are sleeping less than either six or seven hours per night. One study found that reduced sleep time has a greater mortality risk than smoking, high blood pressure, and heart disease. Yikes.

That is some pretty heavy stuff. I would never have thought that being sleep deprived would shorten my life span so considerably! But it makes sense, the body works as a whole, and if it's not able to function properly because of exhaustion, it basically becomes like a dam, holding the flood waters back, waiting for that one catalyst to set the water free to destroy everything in its path. It all makes sense. We are one being with so many inter-connecting functions that it's nonsense to think that one thing wrong could not affect another and send off a chain reaction. I don't know why i thought my lack of sleep was not affecting me...

Perhaps it was my sleep deprivation that kept me from thinking clearly ;(

On that sleep deprived note and on this sleep deprived night, I am determined to sleep before the clock strikes 12!

I hope this information finds you and someone you love well.

Sleep well and Cheers to Your Health!

Katerina

Health and Wellness Blogger

GEM Magazine LI